I need grace (STRESS)

I need grace. From everybody. At least everybody back home. Here's the deal: as you can imagine, China is stressful. Stressful enough just because it's China. Where I can't read. And I don't really speak the language. And 20 million people live here. And it smells bad most of the time. And it's humid. And it's wonderful. It's F-word wonderful. And, perhaps most importantly, I don't really have internet access. I'm supposed to have it in my room, but it barely works. In fact, it doesn't work. So basically, whenever I get some spare time, I have to make my way either to the lobby, or the coffee shop next door and get on the internet. Which is still slow. At which point, I have limited time. Limited time with which to connect to what's important. And to try and let everybody know what is happening. And find out about politics. And the cowboys. And my friends. And my family. And it all must take place in a public place. So please, understand. In China, there's not a lot of dick-around time on the internet. Not for me anyways. It's a precious resource where I must make sure everything is okay. And that's okay for me. Part of me feels that things should be this way. But it's hard to get used to. So please understand.

And I need grace. Because I am barely staying afloat here. I need you to know that no matter who you are, I miss you. I promise, I miss you. And I wish you were here. Seeing this place. And feeling it. And I need you to understand that it's hard being here. And I can't keep everybody happy. And I won't. My priorities will be in being here, in China. And experiencing this adventure. Not on making sure everybody at home is happy. I love you Mom. You need to get on Skype. Everytime you are on the internet, get on Skype and see if I am on. Maybe I will be. And I haven't bought an international phone card yet, and I will call you when I get one. I promise I love you and I miss you and I am thinking about you. And for all of my friends at SU and elsewhere, I'm thinking about you too. You should all be here.

Anyways, I apologize if this seemed curt or whatever. I'm a little stressed right now. I apologize.

But please know, that I miss you and I love you. And understand that I'm going to be gone for a little while. But that I love you and am thinking about you, no matter who you are. (I promise, I started missing some random-ass people, it's kinda wierd).